Old Age Terrorists #80 The High Cost of Living

Clearly this elderly citizen has too much time on his hands.
Clearly the NHS have a lot to answer for.

It is often said that with age comes a more conservative tinted lens to view the world around you, which explains the cantankerous nature of old age gits dedicated to the maxim 'your pain brings me happiness'. Clearly this can only be an urban myth as government policy, whilst leaning towards making old age a crime with an accompanying sentence of death by fuel poverty, has not been truly bold in their thinking. Occasionally however, thoughts break through the ether so that we can move forward. This is the kind of thinking we need in these fictitious times. Behold;

Scrounging Murdering Benefit Cheats

Caught in the Act!
The Government and Pensioners.

On 555 he that was ushered forth as a high priest of the economy took a vow. Gideon the Profligate Profit promised to serve the Great Orifice in defence of the Kraken. Alas he has been distracted by what falsely glitters and the promise of a job as a frontman for the Goldman that sacks towns, cities and bank accounts.

Profit George in Tax Dodge Shocker

Is Profit George seriously suggesting immoral financial conjuring tricks - which puts him in the shady league with starbucks? This is not bad, it is bowel churning evil-bad. In light of the distinct media silence on this subject I can only conclude there is clearly nothing to see El Hierro. However I feel obliged to put a case forward for the defence.

Old Age Terrorists #20 Terminal Velocity

I, GingerZilla, PLEDGE to the People that:
I will make pensioners a criminal offence punishable by Death. 

That is why Old people must be the star of the show as they bathe in the warmth of love and acceptance before going out in style as the Prophet Bill proclaimed [below]. We must face facts. The elderly are statistically, probably going to kill themselves anyway, if not by suicide bombing then by driving deadly car missiles into trees. The supposedly more thoughtful and frail ones die and stink out the room, spoiling it for the next unworthy tenants to join the graveyard shift. Why waste a valuable tree that could bear fruit when the pensioner is a shrivelled and barren husk of thing that smells of death and positively wants it? These are simple choices, even if the idea of granddad may bring up bile, but consider the alternative - letting them live and so they can continue choking the life out of NHS as they fill up hospital wards with their multifarious ailments and raging hypochondria. Citizen's I say to you, no more.

Old Age Terrorists#17: Death or Taxes

Pensioners are too quick to deny rumours they are responsible for the worlds economic woes.  However, the facts Dave the Lizard pointed out, in between geeing up the party faithful for an upcoming hunt on benefit scrounging hoodies, are hard to deny

the single biggest slice of the so-called "welfare" budget – some £110bn – is in fact consumed by pension benefits. Any serious fiscal conservative would have linked this observation back to their narrative about containing costs, but after volunteering it the prime minister blithely went on to defend every last winter fuel cheque and free bus pass as jolly good things.

This had my blood boiling. But it got worse

Old Age Terrorists Choking the life out of NHS

The Usual Suspects at the New Coalition's Ill Gotten Feast
#FutureHistory

I can exclusively reveal there is a plot to murder death kill the NHS.

There are no Problems only Solutions

Do poor people really need limbs?
If we remove their hands they cannot beg
Image:
Mihail Chemiakin: The Children – Victims Of Adult Vices

Agent Arsenal Bob has revealed secret government plans so that taxpayers no longer have to fund their fellow man. A speech will explain how the Spirit of Enterprise and tax payers must be allowed to breathe again after being nearly suffocated by the needs of poor people. It's only fair. Other policies include:

Distorted Reflections on the Election

Monday 3rd May 2010

Can Gordon count on you?

A Conservative pamphlet dropped through my door and rudely interrupted weekly day of planning for world conquest. Unlike the television or the net, a pamphlet through YOUR door cannot be ignored by changing channels or websites. It involves a physical interaction as you pick it up and process it accordingly by reading (or not), cherishing, dumping or recycling. I prefer the latter, it cleanses your house by making something positive from the unwanted evil of politics.

I'm shocked by revelations of a gopher fisting ring at the BBC in the 1990s. A full investigation by @schofe to follow. twitter.com/Cory_Tunt/stat…
— Cory Tunt (@Cory_Tunt) November 9, 2012

Before recycling I did read it and was amazed at what I read, or rather (since this is image politics) didn’t. I now have even less idea what they stand for. Rather than extolling the virtues of a Conservative Government or its policies all I gathered was there was a bogeyman called Gordon Brown. Oh, and that they were better than him, but then so is Gordon the Gopher, but that doesn’t mean I will vote for him.