Old Age Terrorists #80 The High Cost of Living

Clearly this elderly citizen has too much time on his hands.
Clearly the NHS have a lot to answer for.

It is often said that with age comes a more conservative tinted lens to view the world around you, which explains the cantankerous nature of old age gits dedicated to the maxim 'your pain brings me happiness'. Clearly this can only be an urban myth as government policy, whilst leaning towards making old age a crime with an accompanying sentence of death by fuel poverty, has not been truly bold in their thinking. Occasionally however, thoughts break through the ether so that we can move forward. This is the kind of thinking we need in these fictitious times. Behold;

Age related diseases cost the NHS billions of pounds a year, so getting old should be discouraged

Perhaps some voluntary euthenasia [sic], for those pesky old folk who keep getting ill and using up the budget !

Fat people, old people, disabled people, drinkers, premature babies, accident victims, etc all cost the NHS more than a tee-total, vegan marathon runner.

Whilst the meat of this argument is handled quite soundly, the finale is a soggy limp disaster:

Most life-style choices have some impact on our health. Are we really saying that we want a world where our decisions are not ours to make freely but should be made to minimize the NHS budget! View from the Libertarian Dead

This is about restructuring not reduction. No one has said anything about reducing the NHS budget in real terms, how else is there going to be any profit* to be had? What is the point of involving market forces if all the profit has gone? That makes you no different than a neighbour** that bursts your ball then throws it back [1] although when it comes to it, destroying things does have the added benefit of creating demand for replacement.

I find such hypothesised developments as clear evidence of guilt and demand a bombing campaign on the elderly's hoard of weapons immediately. The Bastard public must be made to be aware of how deeply worrying the possible threats that face us are, especially those of a fictitious or libellous nature. The elderly cannot be allowed to provide a service to the economy in case it gives them rights. Giving the elderly rights rather than chip coins and subsidised prescriptions may give them lofty ideals and ignite a jihad on the young. We already have enough of these determined octogenarians causing havoc. 

The scheduling is designed to disorientate which can only be a good thing as we do not want idle pensioners (with undeserved time on their hands) coherent – far too dangerous. No, mollify them with machines, prescription drugs for ‘ailments’ and squeeze the last juices of productivity from them before they expire...Imagine the fun you could have in that moment where the sheep blink and realise they are about to be eaten.

I mean seriously if that's how we are going to be going about things we might as well be footing the bill for humus and al-falafel in a Syrian restaurant.

* or administration fees, which are very reasonable charged at six percent including coffee. Whilst charging rates can vary, the coffee is non negotiable.

** it is statistically probable that such malignant neighbour types will own a cat that shits on your lawn and taunts your dog by walking along your fence. However kitty is forgetting that one day the fence may not save them. 

[1] Source from Hull have revealed that;

Nuisance officers arranged a meeting between two west Hull neighbours after an elderly man burst a child's footballs...When the balls landed in the elderly man's garden, he refused to give them back and burst them. Officers from Hull City Council held a restorative meeting for the neighbours to discuss the issues. A spokesman said: "There have been no further calls for service since the meeting."

I am considering complaining about the use of the word 'elderly' instead of the correct term 'Old Age Terrorist' however I am concerned they may send a 'restorative officer' to visit me. In Australia restorative tests include mental evaluation or, failing that, restorative intimidation so that Winston accepts his fate.