It is rumoured by science sources that looking at tits makes us happy. This would also explain most adverts I am subjected to - pop videos especially included. In this age of Aquarius, adverts have become our ritual replacement for the honour of sharing a room with an actual human soul. I will save humanity by forever banishing this horrendous ritual we have been exposed to
I have fought back with humour and satire yet I grow weary and I am in need of more coffee, but that is not important. People you must hear my voice. I have been given the gift of sight [after seventeen aftershocks - believe me that I can see at all after that is in itself a miracle]. I know about a greater love.
The months (4) in 2012 with the highest occurrence (5) of Double Monday's.  |
| No, not this ritual, although I'm with Cartman on the hippies There are clearly no Global Warning Sharks here |
One
Jan 3rd, 10th, 17th, 24th, 31st
Two
May 1st, 8th, 15th, 22th, 29th
One
Jul 3rd, 10th, 17th, 24th, 31st
Two
Oct 2nd, 9th, 16th, 23th, 30th
Now the Maths:
2012 = 2+0+1+2 = 5
3[rd day of week, Double Monday] x 5 [occurrences] = 15
1+5 = 6 x 4 Months = 24/=(69)= \42
4 [total months with highest occurrence of Double Monday] x 3 (i.e. Double Monday] = 12
There is also another anomaly this year, which is for Friday 13th, which happens 3 times on 4 occassions:
1st Month (Jan)
4th Month (April)
7th Month (Jul)
1st Month + 4th Month + 7th Month = 12
There are three months separating these indices and there are 3. Three is, as we know, the Magic Number.
3+(13+13+13)=42
Right do you get it? I have mathematically proved why mankind must ban the day now known as Double Monday (may it be cursed). This is proof, yet again, of Applied Bob Theory and why you should be very afraid, unless you allow me to complete my mission to save this planet from the Kraken. It does not bear thinking what could happen unless we break pay the tithe. The Kraken has become too powerful and only I with the power of the Sun[god] can stop him. I will crush those of beliebf, but I am a merciful landlord, but only after I've had real coffee and not the high street version made with devil's spunk. I have never really been a morning person, that children wake so fucking early in the morning is testament toy their abnormal and must be conquered remedied.* All I ask in return is a six per cent administration fee for handling the gold that will appease the Kraken and to ban the day known as Double Monday(**)
* a new directive has been issued by the PR Department of Goldsack that the only way to save all our gold being stolen is to have really strong words with the Kraken. I have always pleaded for understanding and compassion that displays significantly increased levels of lower brain function. It can only be stopped by an increase in the frequency.
(**) ban the day now known as double monday may be abbreviated as bdnkdm (pronounced buhdun-kuhdum)
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