Five days. A dreaded double monday where the Sun[god] through its aspects and angry face communicated to me a warning. I heard this from deep inside the beer can I am spending six months inside-as revealed to minnocentscientists. The fumes alone may well explain why my memory is so patchy and how as the story develops I'll remember just in time to save the day. So it has been written.
The problem for a prophet* is not raising an army of believers to spill blood but how to soothe the raging anger that comes from seeing and feeling so much pain. Asif.
Instead we should see this as a business opportunity and send in an army of therapists to bill by the hour. We shall no longer need to throw more fuel on their fires to destroy their homes and take the lives of their children and goats.
I know this truly because the market always works, just like big government always works. They are incorruptible as they have no souls. The ma'ket has no soul. The tortured soul of Socialism cannot work because it is coverered in weeping wounds and has dangerous associations with moustaches. We cannot risk contamination, Communist Rats are everywhere.
We must not fight for violence has always been the straw of an excuse needed to extinguish the fire in our souls, although in drought situations pepper spray is a handy alternative. Instead everybody has to work together to prepare for the great disconnect, when the lights go out and the mass burning of our greatest threat - pensioners - is finally accepted as the only way to save mankind if we are to keep warm and reduce our carbon emissions.
It is quite possible that dark forces with an uncanny resemblance to the Omen films, will cause the foreign temp working in the admin department of the Worldwide Bank^ to delete the electricity billing account. The temp, known only as Michel d'Mule is also wanted for questioning in connection with other possible acts of office clumsiness which have cost the economy billions.
Police would not comment if there was also any connection to a recent spate of horrific accidental deaths among his coworkers. A photographer with a beard is also advised to seek legal advice and stay away from sacred ground and ancient objects.
* the problem for this prophet is that I can't remember the exact double monday. Whilst is logical to see the 28th double monday of the mighty twelve+1, it could also be that french day which must be punished with sanctions. It could even be Halloween.
^ chosen as it sounded less threatening than Global Government or BORG, the Banking Order of Rizlathin Guarantees.