Wednesday, 12 December 2012

The Costa Pasteurised Devils Spunk*

I am so ahead of the curve I sometimes frighten myself but this isn't that hard considering I am in a perpetual state of fear and raging paranoia watching the news. Despite this I don't think I can be any clearer;
It is because of the orchestrated outrage that the masses are too occupied with hectoring and spitting venom on Twitter whilst you buy a pasteurised form of satanic spunk from another high street retailer, rather than taking the plunge at the local coffee shop.The Great Starbucks Tax Illusion
Instead you continue to flock like the zombies that you are to the other suppliers of satanic spunk trying desperately to pass itself off as coffee;
17.25 (CLOSE): Costa coffee owner Whitbread stormed up the blue chip index today as it revealed another strong performance at the coffee chain...Shares in Whitbread rose 60p to 2488p amid speculation that the recent furore over the tax arrangements of rivals Starbucks and Caffe Nero has helped business. The group said Costa's like-for-like sales improved 7.1 per cent in the 13 weeks to November 29. Source

Now you know how they could afford to give it away, although it could also be argued that just like a dodgy playground dealer they were giving free samples of product. It could easily be compared to the temporary joy of receiving five pounds from a complete stranger who then buggers your dog. 
The boycott must be expanded with harsh penalties for those who aid and abet;
A Citizen's arrest must be performed on anyone attempting to enter these modern speakeasies
According to an 1889 newspaper, “Unlicensed saloons in Pennsylvania are known as ‘speak-easies.’”[1] They were so called because of the practice of speaking quietly about such a place in public, or when inside it, so as not to alert the police or neighbors.[2]
* saying the general pubic prefer being smacked in the gob than kicked in the nether regions predisposes the solution to be violent and therefore the question has no value. It is also worth factoring in that if people have only ever swallowed roasted devil's spunk or diluted faeces their opinion has no value. 

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