Sunday, 25 November 2012

Muffle Santa: Dunk Your Tea Bag for Victory!

Our fargan rights are being violated!

I had hoped to hold off on my plans until after the full moon, especially as I saw an agent of the Baron who narrowly escaped my flap crushing blow. Sadly the intolerable levels of Christmas adverts along with the sight of a very drunk crooner dry humping a turtle have left me no other choice. 

I have long called for a mass protest across the globe
4th Double Monday of the Mighty 12
I originally planned World TeaBag Day for 2011 but I couldn't be arsed and besides the timing being wrong my legion of monkeys weren't listening. But as I always say there is still time. On Christmas day this year those who play Battlefield and Modern Warfare must TeaBag en mass as a protest against censorship and because it's funny. Whilst some may complain that children's games are being ruined on this sacred day, it's a fucking 18 game and any child playing this game deserves a ball bag or pair of beef curtains in their face. The world of MW and BF will thank me as these little fucking cretins ruin it for everyone else, just like they do on Twitter.
Modern Warfare 3 Now It's Political
but it seems my ideas have been taken out of context:
It does not matter that I was one year early with the solution as the underlying dastardly plot remains the same;


On the last double monday of the mighty 12 we must make a stand for freedom and strike against the dark forces that threaten the time of turning. Yet remember that Santa[=satan] need not die. Just the gnarled old shell which can be cracked by one almighty act of defiance to release the Giant Panda inside him.

We need our children to remain children and that means shielding them from unnecessary gratuity because the life they will live will be fraught with graphic levels of unforseen hardship anyway. There are places for children and places we share with them without inflicting the adult world upon them.
Tom Watson reacts to his latest smearing
Seriously what kind of fargan icehole lets their children on the web unsupervised? What kind of corksucker lets them play 18 certificate games unsupervised? Statistically and thanks to the internet  there are more deviants in your home than outside where your kids would love to play if you let them.   They could do with the exercise.
Do you want this to happen to your child?
Adult Gamers of the World Unite - Tea Bag for Victory!

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