Thursday, 5 July 2012

Sun[god] to CERN[god] "Meh"

Public information films have only taught me that America was a very violent place and is prone to being flattened in a series of disasters brought on by an addiction to pornographic levels of DOOM. However, rather than respond to aggression in kind, the Sun[god] went Meh
"The sunspot's magnetic canopy is crackling with almost [but nearly]-X class flares...each "crackle" releases more energy than a billion atomic bombs" SpaceWeather
 Although to us mere mortals this is quite possibly a vulgar display of power, which is quite the in thing in the news these days, on earth we mirrored this Great Meh when we reacted to the news that CERN, the Communist European Rat Nursery, announced that they have nearly but not quite found what they are looking for before passing out the begging bowl so they can continue to communicate with God.

Whilst some sources, most likely those in the newly formed Department for Entertainment, Gaming and War, have been speculating the July Fourth fireworks by the Sun[god] was a touching salute to celebrate Independence Day and not we have nearly but not quite become gods.
CERN's base close to the Med but away from the coast
It is entirely possibly, as devout readers of this blog should know, scientists are developing a highly secret weapon capable of defeating the Kraken. Having been schooled in the world of action thrillers where violence is the only solution I could blame the Nazi science legacy but as it was a full moon I'll blame that.
The portable lunagod is the latest craze according to Swedish sources*

Thundergods Playing at the Bleeding Nose Shelter.

Did I mention there's boobs

* by the sheer weight of consciousness, the great Norse Gods of the very cold Northern lands, existed. It is possible the French were involved in a secret plot to bump them off which probably failed before leaving Paris. I have been reliably informed by Swedish sauces that they are trying to harness the power of the sun and moon to attack France. They are also calling for the extradition of the fallen Emperor who may be seeking asylum in Canada[i],` in which case it is entirely possibly the Sun[god] is out to ruin France's celebrations. 
[i] a very cold northern place which according to sources close to global warning sharks may be developing a nuclear weapons program to defend against the Kraken.

No comments: